At Last I Find You
by Koukla22
Summary: OneShot.  Two handsome, dark haired wizards are in love with Lily Evans. One takes all she has to give, while the other loses everything he never had.  SeverusLily.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or any of JK Rowling's amazing characters. I am merely borrowing them.

This one-shot is dedicated to Anasella Emm who not only proof-read this for me, but compelled me to take this story further than I had originally planned. I hope you like it!

The title comes from the song "I Will" by The Beatles.

**At Last I Find You.**

* * *

James Potter and his three best friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew huddled together over an enchanted parchment illuminated by the lit tip of a wand. 

"Filch has to have gone to bed by now," James assured his friends. "It's nearly midnight. Besides, he can't give me detention, I'm Head Boy." He added with an arrogant laugh.

Sirius nodded in agreement. "And he can't roam the corridors all night, can he?"

"No, _he_ can't. That's what Mrs. Norris is for," said Remus, reminding them all of the last time they were caught out of bed after hours by Filch's meddlesome cat. "It's the first day back, that animal is probably starving for students to rat on."

"Well, I'm not waiting any longer," announced Sirius as he climbed off the bed and slipped on his shoes. "I'm starving and I'm going to the kitchens whether you lot come with me or not."

James made a move to follow Sirius but stopped suddenly, gaping at the map, his mouth dropped open in shock.

"Wha…?" Was all he was able to articulate.

"Come on, Prongs," Sirius urged impatiently.

Remus peered over James' shoulder to see what had caused the reaction from his friend, when his eyebrows shot up in surprise, as well.

"Is that – "

"Yeah," James answered Remus' unfinished question.

"What are they – "

"No idea," James replied, again cutting off his friend.

Sirius who had been standing in the doorway, watching his immobile friends with annoyance, spoke up yet again.

"If you aren't going to come with me, at least tell me what is so bloody interesting," he griped.

James merely gestured towards the map in response, causing Sirius to growl audibly as he walked back towards his friends. He snatched the map out of James' grip and searched for the answer to his friends' odd behavior.

Over his shoulder, Peter silently pointed to a corner of the map, indicating a corridor on the seventh floor where two labeled dots were moving towards one another slowly from opposite ends of the hall.

The inches between the dots signified that the two would be crossing paths in just a few short moments.

Sirius lowered the map slowly and looked up at his best friend.

"Why, in Merlin's name, are_ those_ two meeting at midnight in a deserted corridor?" He asked James in disbelief.

James just shook his head in silent response.

* * *

"Who's there?" A voice whispered, though the volume was magnified in the vacant corridor. 

"Lily?" Spoke another voice, seemingly only feet away.

The lanterns in the corridors were burnt down to allow only a faint silhouette to indicate the other presence.

"Severus!"

"Lumos!" Both voices commanded in unison.

The two stood only five feet apart, staring at the other with their lit wands held out before them.

They both spoke at once.

"What are you – "

"This is a – "

Lily laughed awkwardly.

Severus gestured for her to speak first.

"What are you doing up here so late?" She asked, genuinely shocked to find him there.

"I couldn't sleep. Though I suppose, I could ask you the same question?" He replied, quirking an eyebrow inquisitively.

Lily blushed faintly.

"I suppose, I could give the same answer then. I couldn't sleep either."

"Where were you headed?" He asked, lowering his wand slightly, casting a warm glow across the stone floor.

Lily raised her hand to point in the direction from which he had come but lowered it before she spoke.

"Walking aimlessly, I guess," She said as she looked down at her feet.

He could tell when she was keeping something from him. He always could tell.

"You?" She added, still watching her shuffling feet.

"Just wandering," He answered, hoping she wouldn't ask the question he knew she was bound to ask.

"So far from the dungeons?" She posed, a curious yet knowing expression upon her face.

Silently delighted that the corridor was dark enough to obscure his slightly reddened face, Severus responded.

"Yes. Even us Slytherins enjoy some time away from the bowels of the school."

Lily laughed quietly.

"You can't be faulted for that, it must be awfully depressing down there all the time."

Severus raised an eyebrow at her in playful irritation.

"Just as you Gryffindors must be exhausted from spending all of your time seated in the throne of the castle, high above us all," He said in jest. "Which leads to me to ask, why you have wandered away from your castle tower?"

Lily shook her head with a wry smile on her face.

"My, my, Severus… was that… a joke?!" Lily teased in feigned shock.

Severus allowed himself a laugh at this remark.

"You didn't answer my question," He accused her, in his manner of mischievous humor.

Lily bit her lower lip contemplatively and looked at the floor. Toying with a few tendrils of her long red hair, she raised her eyes and looked at Severus sheepishly.

"Can we… maybe… pretend that we both wandered here out of pure coincidence, on the same night at the same time, for no reason other than this is where our feet happened to carry us?"

"We can pretend that, yes. But it doesn't make it true," Severus reasoned, captivated by her fingers twirling around her silky hair.

Lily's hand fell to her side, as she stared openly at him.

"Then what is the truth?" She asked anxiously.

Severus opened his mouth to answer but closed it again. He thought for a moment before responding.

"You first."

A deep silence encompassed them as Lily stood pensively, debating whether or not to tell him why she had actually been in this corridor. Finally, she concluded that she ought to tell him the truth.

Heat blazing in her cheeks, Lily raised her eyes to the ceiling, refusing to look at Severus out of embarrassment.

"The portrait …" She began slowly. "Sir Cadogan… he told me you were walking this way... And you?"

Severus took a small step towards her, though she was still staring fixedly upwards.

"Same…a portrait," he replied.

A relieved smile crept slowly across Lily's face as she allowed their eyes to meet again. They always did think so much alike.

"This reminds me of our first year, when we would meet…away from our houses…," She said gently.

"Yes. The hours we spent talking," Severus pondered.

"Is that why we would meet… to talk?" Lily asked seriously.

"I think so," Severus said. He paused before adding with anticipation, "What other reason would there have been?"

"I liked being near you," was her sincere reply.

Severus was genuinely astounded by her frankness.

"Y- You did?" He stammered, silently cursing himself for sounding completely ridiculous.

"I do."

"Do… still?"

"Yes," She said simply, finding confidence in the half-light of the hallway in which they stood.

"Even after I – "

"Yes," She cut him off.

There was no point in revisiting that terrible day in which they had both said things they didn't mean. It had cost them both more than either had ever admitted to anyone apart from themselves.

Turning her lit wand about in her hand, Lily was causing the soft golden light to dance across the floor. She traced its path with her eyes until Severus broke up the luminous pattern by crossing into it as he moved towards her.

"Lily?" He said as he captured her hand causing her wand to still.

His other hand combed her long hair behind her ear smoothly.

"Yes?" She answered breathlessly, tilting her face to look up at him.

He leaned towards her intently but paused as a flicker of hesitation passed over his face. Lily, observing his restraint, rested her free hand against his chest as she raised herself up on her toes before swiftly pressing her lips against his.

After the initial shock had worn off, Severus wasted no time in deepening their kiss as he wove his hand into her soft hair, angling her head to allow better access to her. Sensing his intention, Lily parted her lips, wrapped her arms around his neck and let Severus take control as their union became increasingly impassioned.

Holding her steadfastly around the waist, Severus turned so he was leaning against the cold stone wall of the corridor and pulled her against him more firmly.

Lily's hands moved to his face and she began placing kisses along his jaw, sending shivers throughout Severus' body.

He dipped his head and inhaled her scent deeply as he kissed her neck. She sighed loudly in response, her knees nearly giving way and she was ever the more thankful that he was holding her so tightly.

Their mouths found one another again as they kissed fiercely, both enraptured by this new and unexplored pleasure.

The hand which Severus had wound in Lily's hair slid down to rest upon her shoulder, caressing her neck gently, as he toyed with the collar of her robes.

She moaned into his mouth at the mere suggestion made by his hand and pressed herself against him further. He emitted a low groan deep in his throat at the nearness of her body, flush against his own. Encouraged by her response, he began to slowly unbutton the first… then the second button of her robes. He traced his fingers over the newly exposed skin, his head swirling at the increasing fervor of their intimacy.

Kissing hungrily still, Severus continued his exploration. He fumbled with the third button, distracted by Lily's fingers teasing the skin just beneath the collar of his own robes. As the third button finally opened, Severus let his slightly shaky hand slip beneath the fabric as his fingertips barely grazed satin smooth skin and lace.

An echoing voice somewhere in a not-too-distant corridor halted Severus' hands at once.

He hated to break their heated kiss but he did, just enough to breathe her name.

"Lily…"

"Mm hmm?" She answered having transferred her attention to his neck.

"Do you hear something?" He asked, half groaning at her elicit kisses.

"No," She mumbled into his skin.

But Severus was distracted now as he could hear the voices growing nearer.

Lily's head shot up as she too heard the intruders, her pouted lips were red from kissing him.

"James." She stated resentfully, recognizing his voice.

Severus' eyes narrowed but Lily gripped his hand and began pulling him down the corridor in the opposite direction.

"Follow me," She said quietly.

She walked quickly, glancing behind them every few moments. Making an abrupt left turn at the end of the corridor, she hastened down one staircase and then another. A sharp right turn, then she halted unexpectedly causing Severus to collide into her back. He held her close as he reached out for the wall to stabilize them.

Lily looked over her shoulder at him and laughed nervously as she whispered a password under her breath.

One of the suits of armor stepped aside and Lily pushed open a door that Severus hadn't seen in the darkness.

She stepped inside and pulled him in after her, immediately drawing his head down and met his lips again, he returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm.

He wasn't sure where they were exactly, but guessing that she had brought him to her private Head Girl's dormitory, bolstered Severus' confidence as he raked both hands through her hair and allowed his consciousness to be completely lost in this moment.

They broke apart after a minute, their kissing ceased as they both paused to catch their breath. Arms wrapped around one another… he rested his forehead against hers, their ragged breath the only sound in the room.

Light from their still-lit wands was the only intrusion upon the darkness, as Lily waved hers, a dim candle lit in each corner of the room. Severus looked around him, taking advantage of the faint light and saw that he was, indeed, in the sitting area of her private room.

A dark green, velvet love seat sat across from an empty fireplace, flanked by two armchairs, already strewn with miscellaneous books.

Across the room was a carved wooden door which presumably led into Lily's bedroom.

Severus looked back down at her and saw that she'd been watching him observe her room, most importantly; she'd noticed him looking at the promising door across the way.

He blushed and looked away.

"Severus?" Lily asked nervously.

Looking back to her, he saw that she too was blushing, though her eyes were sparkling brightly up at him.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to… come in?" She said, biting her bottom lip.

Confusion etched itself across his face.

"Come in?" He echoed, unsure of what she meant exactly. He was already in her rooms.

Lily glanced over at the door which lead to her bedroom then back up at him. Apprehension was apparent on her face and Severus, though surprised at her vulnerability, found her to be more attractive than he had ever seen her.

But he understood what she meant and he smiled gently as he said, "I would."

She smiled as he accepted her invitation. Taking his hand, she led him across the room, pushing open the door and admitting him entrance into her bedroom.

Her trunk lay still unpacked at the foot of her four-poster bed, which was covered in a light green blanket with white lilies.

He was in Lily's bedroom. Alone. With Lily. In her bedroom. Severus could feel his heart pounding away wildly within his chest as the reality of the situation was realized.

Lily too seemed to be amazed at the position in which they now found themselves. Darkened corridors and doorways did not seem to hinder her but… here? Here, her courage failed her. Her desire was restrained by fear of rejection and nerves.

They stood slightly apart from one another… her hand still clasping his as they looked in opposite directions, not sure where to go from here.

Severus spoke first; the silence was weighing down upon him heavily.

"You haven't unpacked yet," He said, stating the obvious and wincing inwardly at his remark.

Lily turned her head to face him.

"No… not yet." She said.

The top three buttons of her robe remained unbuttoned from their previous actions in the upstairs corridor and Severus' eyes fell to the exposed skin.

He tightened his grip on her hand and slowly drew her towards him, placing a slow kiss to her forehead.

She rested her head on his chest and he ran his hands down her back, just breathing in her scent. His pulse quickened.

He cupped her face and looked into her eyes; he wanted to know that she was as eager to continue as he was. Yearning… is what he saw looking back at him. Lily inhaled quickly turned away from him, walking to her bed. She fidgeted with the edge of her bedspread, nervously. Turning around slowly and looking at him with an inviting smile, she reached out to him with an outstretched hand which he accepted.

He reached her and covered her mouth with his own, kissing her agonizingly slowly, a stark contrast to the hungry passion they had exuded previously.

The passion was still there, burning as hot as it ever had… but the intimacy of this new environment allowed them to explore one another in greater detail.

Severus parted from Lily to witness as he pulled aside the few inches of her black robe to reveal her lavender lace bra. He traced his fingers along the edge of the bra, swallowing with increased difficulty as his arousal became overwhelming.

Lily clasped his hands and he looked up at her dejectedly, assuming she wasn't willing to continue.

Yet, she surprised him by moving backwards and pushing herself up to sit on her bed beckoning him to come closer.

She began to slowly undo the buttons of his robe as well, never taking her eyes away from his. Her expression exuded excitement, desire and a shyness that gave away her lack of experience.

Though, all this was mirrored in Severus' own expression. He hadn't ever cared to partake in such events with anyone but Lily… so, he hadn't taken part in them at all.

Until now.

He kissed her cheeks lightly, her nose, her jaw line before finally settling on her lips. Their slow kisses encouraged them both to pursue one another more confidently.

Severus, who remained standing before her, placed a hand on each of Lily's knees, inching up the hem her robes until he made contact with the smooth skin. He gently pushed his hands against her legs slowly parting them, allowing him to move even closer against her.

Lily sighed his name against his lips and threw her arms around his neck pulling him down as they both fell back onto the bed.

He turned on his side and Lily moved with him, both completely engrossed in the feeling of their bodies forced against the one another.

They both fumbled with buttons, eager to rid themselves of their robes that were becoming more and more of a hindrance. Severus gingerly inched Lily's robe down her shoulder and leaned over to cover the fair skin with his mouth causing a sharp exhale to escape her lips. She raised herself up slightly and her robe slid down exposing her bra completely. Lily moved to cover herself shyly but Severus caught her hands.

"You are so beautiful," He whispered, in awe of her.

She relaxed her arms and ran a hand down his chest, pushing his robes back as well, his white undershirt still covering him. Tugging at the hem of his shirt, she lightly touched the skin at his waist, before allowing her hand to move under the fabric, feeling the warmth radiating from him.

Severus pushed her robes away entirely, uncovering her barely clothed figure and causing the fire within him to burn hotter than ever. Lily pulled his shirt up over his head and he discarded it onto the floor.

They gazed at one another, both expecting to find uncertainty staring back but neither did. In that moment, the only coherent thought either could manage was, why hadn't they done this sooner?

Joining again in a passionate kiss, Severus let his fingers roam her body, finally settling upon her bra.

Her skin was softer than he'd ever dreamt it would be… and yes, he had dreamt of this moment, positive that it would always be just that. A dream.

But this reality far outshone any dream.

After struggling for a moment with the clasp of her bra, it finally unfastened as he tossed it aside. He paused, his hand hovering near her uncovered breasts… waiting for her to grant him permission. As though sensing his question, Lily covered his hand and moved it to her chest where he readily explored her body further.

Lily was eased onto her back as Severus lowered his mouth over her breast, savoring her sweet skin and, even more, the reaction it elicited from her. She dug her nails into his shoulders and gasped aloud, as he continued his sensual exploration.

She slid her hands down his back, coming to rest on his hips and the waistband of his boxers. Wrapping her legs around his, she pressed his hips against her own; his arousal pushed against her most sensitive spot. Severus groaned and recaptured her mouth with his, moving one hand to her waist, he hooked a finger around the edge of her panties and inched them down slowly.

Following his lead, Lily began to gradually push his boxers down over his hips bit by bit.

Soon, all that remained was the two of them, too enraptured with one another to be timid now, each wanting the other too badly to think of anything other than the significance of their next move.

Aware of her readiness, Severus lowered himself until his hips were only inches away from hers, his hands bracing himself on either side of her. Lily shuddered, her sighs lost in their expectant kisses. She could feel him so close to her, ready to change both of their lives…

"Severus…" Lily whispered against his mouth, imploring him to forgo his hesitations and surrendering herself to him completely.

Severus kissed her vigorously and pushed himself into her warmth, groaning audibly at the elation he felt in joining their two bodies as one.

Digging her nails into his back, Lily braced herself for the pain she anticipated would come with her first time. Severus moved forward, leaning on his elbows and cupped her face with his hands. Letting his lips linger on her forehead, he pushed into her further yet, feeling her barrier tear as she tightened around him.

He guiltily moved to pull himself away from her but she placed her hands on his hips to stop him, instead, pushing him back within her moistness.

"Don't stop, Sev," She said quietly, yet firmly, as though she could read his thoughts.

Severus breathed unevenly and looked back at her in disbelief. His head was spinning in ecstasy… she still wanted him. He looked back at her indulgently and moved himself into her slowly.

He withdrew himself almost entirely before pressing into her yet again, little by little. Lily soon began moving with him, raising herself to meet him each time he pushed within her. Over and over again, they moved as one, alternately kissing and whispering the other's name intimately.

Their pace quickened as yearning mounted within them both… burning desire spread throughout their bodies and Severus felt his impending release. Lily tightened around him as she neared her climax and he drove into her vigorously. She cried out his name pushing him over the edge as well and he too let go, his release leaving him trembling and elated.

He pulled away from her, settling onto his back beside her in the bed… they both lay in silence, hearts pounding, breathing harshly.

Severus wordlessly pulled up the blanket to cover them both. He wasn't sure what to say… afraid that he might ruin what they had just shared. He opted to say nothing at all, instead lying back again silently.

"Sev?" Lily said after another moment's silence.

He looked over at her. She was turned on her side facing him, the blanket draped loosely over her body. She smiled coyly as she reached over to pull him against her.

She cupped his face with her hand and kissed him deeply, caressing his cheek with her fingers.

When they broke apart, she settled herself with her head on his chest, slowing falling into peaceful slumber wrapped securely in his arms.

Her breathing soon evened out and Severus knew she was sleeping. Afraid to fall asleep himself, that he would wake up and realize this had all been a dream. Instead, he sat up into the small hours of the morning, his arms holding her tightly as he whispered words of love and adoration to the beautiful girl sleeping soundly beside him.

* * *

Two stories above them, a raven haired boy sat in a dark corridor… a map lay a few feet away, having been thrown aside in agonizing resentment. 

James held his head in his hands as silent tears ran down his face.

He'd lost.

* * *

_"And when at last I find you  
Your song will fill the air  
Sing it so loud I can hear you.  
Make it easy to be near you."_

_-The Beatles_

* * *

Please read and review. 


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